30.5.03

Every calorie's a War.

yeaaaaah. i got my pay yesterday at work. im so happy. my pay has been very satisfactory, because im just a part-timer. this month i recieved my overtime pay too. yeah! 2 more pays from guardian and i'll dissapear from their sight. actually, they'll dissapear from mine. hehe haha. pau tini and other peeps are at the sentosa beach today. did not follow. i might be interrupting. the winds are calling me.
uh, let me see. next week, i may be watching bruce almighty with sweetness. that is, if i have off days next week. he would be so dissapointed if i have no off days. he always say that my workplace is taking me for granted. what the hell, i dont care. im being used for so many years.
its a nice day today everyone! enjoy it!

:: she posted @ 2:01 AM ::

pics at random. just for fun heeeeh.

:: she posted @ 1:50 AM ::

28.5.03

fly away on my zephyr.

you know, im going to be very very much happier next month. want to know why? next month is the last month for me to work!!!!! yes, i am very happy. another month of endurance and thats it. no more shit, deaf, uncosiderable, unappreciatable customers again. no more death-traps by insensitive colleagues. and oh, my senior john will be leaving guardian this sunday. the happiness on my face is so unavoidable when my supervisor told me that. pure bliss.
went to my friends wedding last saturday. she's my age and she's the 1st to be married. whos next? i am happy for her. but the feeling to be at her wedding, its totally bogus. it feels so wierd, if you know what i mean. she's too young. im certainly not getting married that early. not at least after im 25-26. nonetheless, congrats on your successful wedding. although its a small one, its great. good luck girl. on your future endevours.
sunday i went to my granny's place. went alone, but my folks are there already. i cant believe it. i did the most embarrasing/outgoing thing in my life. it never happened to me before. what i did was before i took the 854 bus, i bought 2 packets of asam,a.k.a salted, pitted, dried fruit. i can get nauseatic easily in long bus rides. especially from yishun to bedok, and bedok to marine parade. *yawn* anyway, i was sitted beside this malay auntie. she was bringing along big plastics of food from mcdonald and kfc. i can practically hear my stomach groan, the fragrant smell wafting into my nose. i decided to eat my asam.
you want to know what i did? out of the blue, i offered the auntie my asam!!!!!!! i was like," makcik nak satu?/do you want one auntie?" ohmygod. you should see the look on her face. it was like, an unknown person is offering sweets? is it poisoned? i was so relieved when she refused the offer politely. it took me 10 seconds to realise what i was doing. i was ready to dissolve on the spot.
Malu....

:: she posted @ 9:50 PM ::

23.5.03

this is what i wrote. out of boredom. heeh.

The Human Theory - By Sally's Organs (Part 1)

i am Sally's brain.
without me she could not operate her arms and legs.
she could not walk she could not sleep she could not eat.
with me, she thinks many things.
i am, her source of imagination and her wildest dreams.
she also, went crazy because of me.
i am her only hope of survival.

i am Sally's eyes.
with me she sees many things, shown different feelings.
i produce tears which she uses to cry every night. my muscles are very tired. too much production.
too much, she could go blind. too little, that means she had died.
i frequently went red and there are always blacks rings around me.
she does not need me.
im only made to cry.

i am Sally's arms.
Left has less muscles than Right.
Right does more work than Left.
Shoulders are white, but from elbow downwards im brown, exposed to sun.
i am sometimes, infested with disease on the Skin.
i am long. people make use of me, not Sally.
people call me the skeleton the stick the cane.
i am the used organ.

i am Sally's hands and fingers.
my skin is soft and without me she could not write.
without me she cant dig her nose, twirl her hair, hold her cigarette.
she could not enjoy her everyday Enjoyment.
she could not lick me after eating Kentucy Fried Chicken.
Sally burned me. Sally chewed me.
Sally hurt me. Sally kissed me.
Sally loves me.

:: she posted @ 1:20 AM ::

20.5.03

with Hi-5 on the television driving me crazy.

i cant belive it. sometimes i tune in to watch hi-5 on tv. they are so irritating yet contagious. grown ups playing make-believe, getting all cute with pink make-up and all. and the kids will drive themselves crazy by following the dance steps their mentors show. come to think of it, the dance steps are easy to follow. not that i dont follow.(??) what the hell am i saying?! im not a fan of hi-5~ that's my decision.
the weather is making me feel sort of under pressure. it was so hot last night i end up sleeping on the floor, with t-shirt and shorts. woke up with a blistering headache. went out just now to buy blusher. its called desire.
the desire to spit saliva at my boss's face is building up.

:: she posted @ 2:54 AM ::

19.5.03

temptation to the maximus. Blythe Dolls.

:: she posted @ 6:15 AM ::

search for the tagboard maker.





flea market at zouk was great. first time appearance there. felt like a virgin. there were lots of stuffs to be bought and on sale. mostly cds, vcds, second-handed tshirts, skirts, pants. there were dolls too, collectors item such as x-men figurines, star wars etc. was eyeing this particular Blythe Doll until i realised it was selling at 180 buck each. nearly died. in the end i bought a nice tee for sweetness, which costs at a very low price of 12 bucks. did not buy anything for myself, because i dont need anything. still. oh yes, met astreal's singer. janette or jeanette, forgotten how to spell eversince o levels. haah. she was like" eh you like my precious how about buying this freaking rock and roll t-shirt huh?!" hahaha. it was a nice experience. cant wait for zouk to hold another flea market.
damn you woman. be a good girl and be a good garbage can you?! he threw you away and now youre pissing on me like it didnt care. you bitch. you dont deserve to be a female dog, you deserve worse than that. he's mine and he's not going anywhere. not until im dead and youre dead too. go and dig some bones at the graveyard will you~. scumbag, double latte bitch.

:: she posted @ 6:01 AM ::

14.5.03

hello. tagboard will be back soon. revamping la dee dah.

:: she posted @ 3:12 AM ::

13.5.03

c'mon baby light my fire.

silence. sometimes i want them, sometimes i hate them. could soothe me, could make me crazy.
the silence i want is the type when the world decided to get too noisy and i want to shut them up. noise from customers, noise from my fellow shit boss. noise from insanity and noise coming out from my mouth. sometimes i speak whenever its not necessary. and when its unnecessary, it becomes necessary. because im pushed to a limit that i blurt everything in the end and it hurts someone's feelings.
the silence that i dont want is the silence that makes me think that they hate me. i mean people hate me. i can imagine someone walking pass me, and if im jean grey, i can read their mind. but from the way people talk and their actions sometimes i can know what they are thinking. hush. another dreaded silence are silence coming from my loved ones. although they are not saying anything, it is still noisy in my head, like a jackhammer penetrating through my brain and thoughts. the jackhammer happens to be questions that are in my brain. i hate it when a person did not participate in phone conversations. i cant talk much. no ideas and im not an answering machine that goes on and on.
sometimes what i say is true. sometimes what i say is beneficial to whoever you are im giving advice to. acceptance is something im not worried about. at least i care. thats why people say its the thoughts that count. but it doesnt matter and apply to some people i know. i dont know what to do anymore. if only im god.
but the thing is, im no god.

:: she posted @ 6:29 AM ::

12.5.03

The Adrenalini Brothers- feat. Enk and Adi.

if i was a lisbon girl, i would be Cecilia. the one who thinks that she's detached from the world and also the first one to die.
all i wanted was a biore pore pack for women.
1st stop, told my mom im checking the letter box for recent letters. i've been doing that since my acceptance to ite balestier. only 2 letters, both from singtel, one for my dad and another for francoise. left the letters back in the box, thinking that i'll be taking it back after buying my sought after product. went to my favourite minimart. searched high and low. no, no pore pack for women. only men. went to another minimart. same goes as the other one. only men. went to a nearby ginseng shop. imagine a ginseng shop selling facial products. same. shopkeeper says no more. but my thought says search for more.
i end up going to the other minimart at the other side of the road. we call it kedai buncit, because the owner was bloated like a blowfish. he's dead now. for quite some time already. same results. only men. went to a nearby mama shop, no existance of any pore packs. went to the next shop, same goes. no existance.
i decided to go to the other minimarts. with patience going high and low, my lust for the pore pack becomes more personal. i went to a $1- 50cents shop. not even a facial cleanser in sight. next destination, a nearby guardian shop. to my dismay, not even close to a pore pack. i end up staring at the cashier's face. for god knows why.
went to 7 eleven. not a facial cleanser in sight. went to shop and save. only men. i followed where my legs brought me. went to 2 more minimarts. only men. i suddenly realised that i've been to all minimarts. decided to go home. questions ran in my head. was there a sudden inexceptance for the product? or are there no more women rights? i end up staring at a nearby barber shop's twirling lamp for 1 minute.
yes. it all comes back to square 1. putting my key in the lock of the letter box. im coming home with 2 letters. and no pore pack. mom thinks im crazy.
the thing is, why do i even bother?

:: she posted @ 2:32 AM ::

9.5.03

take warning take warning!

i am soooooooooooooooo tired and mad and bored with guardian. whats up with all the staffs? why the face why the attitude?
nice going john. i thought seniors are supposed to be good examples to the "new ones". some good example u are.
go poo at some bushes and dig some bones.
*bluergh*
(shoots middle finger at guardian)

:: she posted @ 2:38 AM ::

8.5.03

sweet dreams are made of these.who am i to disagree.i travel the world in 7 seas.some of them want to use you.some of them want to be used by you.some of them want to abuse you.some of them want to be abused.

i just lurve Eurythmics. i love Annie Lennox. short hair, piercing stare.big eyes. groovy personality. dark. deep voice. the abnormality of being a girl.
my family, the ladies, we dont have regular girl or lady voices. our voices are as deep as the seas. we dont squek,squeal. we shout. we boom we bang.

what is abnormality? being different?my abnormalities are that you cant recognise of. only the ones who are closest to me knows.
2nd May. watched Xmen2 with sweetness. wooohooo, the movie was pure perfection. its certainly better than the first movie, which is kind of slow and draggy. this time, its more action packed and more *bamph*,*woosh*,*kapow* and loads more. you guys better catch it! i was so excited about the movie, i couldnt help telling sweetness about the polt of the movie (which i have read abt in the novel!!) Storm was the bomb. so was Mystique. everyone was great. cant wait for the next sequel xmen3 coming in years to come.
what are your abnormalities? peeps? tag it!

:: she posted @ 2:09 AM ::

1.5.03

i can't wake up.

this is basically me. just me. with me t-shirt. wonder how is my expression everyday? this is it. not a pleasant sight. heeeeh.

:: she posted @ 7:21 PM ::