26.2.03
out across the endless sea...i would die in ecstacy. but i'll be a bag of bones..driving down the road alone.
tomorrow is the day. yeah. my o level results. less than 48 hours. my heart is drenched in wine. i'm so dizzy. overslept?no. lack of sleep?no. i don't know why.
what would i do if i fail? i don't know. sheesh. asked my mom what would SHE do if i fail. to my astonishment she said that if i fail what to do. be in ite. i was so shocked. i always thought they would flip if i fail. i mean, i even cried when i did not get the express stream for psle. i was scared to death. i had the vision of my parwnts waiting for me at the door with a rod, waiting to beat me up if i failed to impress them. but no. seeing that im not the bright one in studies, not like my elder sister, they laid back. i was surprised, out of my skin. im grateful. but how i really wish i pass this examination. failure is not something i can handle that well. except for my maths, that is.
woke up having a sore left neck and shoulder. now i cant turn let that often. what an event to start the day. and im working today. thank you o' neck and shoulder. besides that, woke up thinking of my precious. thinking how long have we been together. uh, 2 yrs yada yada perhaps. yah. i remembered the first time i saw him in class. i was his bully. sat behind him in class, loved kicking his chair. tormented by me and azizi. at that particular yr in sec 2, i did not know he liked me. i was too, uh, busy with other fools that dumped me.
it was in sec 3, end of it actually, that he managed to gather some courage to tell me the bare truth. shocked to death. after having 2 useless relationships, he came. and we last for a long time. looking back, i remebered how foolish i am. i cant believe im like that. latif, the 'keropok' of all, is a goner now. i think i was the one who ruined his life. before i dumped him his life was good, had a home, lived with family. then i dumped him everything went wrong in his life. he failed his n levels, and repeated. repeated, went into the same class as me. created havoc with my precious end up in a fight. after the yrs, me and him are not so close friends. herry, the i-regret-having-him guy. thinks girls are like t-shirts. was close to killing him. enough of him.
now im with my precious. im grateful. thank you. gotta go. laundry waiting to be folded.
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she posted @ 8:56 PM ::
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she posted @ 8:01 PM ::
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she posted @ 7:50 PM ::
25.2.03
Matchbox20- Bent
If I fall along the way
pick me up and dust me off.
and if I get too tired to make it
be my breath so I can walk
If I need some other love
give me more than I can stand
and when my smile gets old and faded
wait around I'll smile again
shouldn't be so complicated
just hold me and then
just hold me again
can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
get put back together
you're breaking me in
and this is how we will end
with you and me bent
If I couldn't sleep could you sleep
could you paint me better off
could you sympathize with my needs
I know you think I need a lot
I started out clean but I'm jaded
just phoning it in
just breaking the skin
start bending me
It's never enough
I feel all your pieces
start bending me
Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in
shouldn't be so complicated
just touch me and then
just touch me again
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she posted @ 12:39 AM ::
thinking back...hey, its been so long since i last blog!
i've been very,super,duper,100% busy. work as usual. last week i was booked...for the whole week. end up taking mc on wednesday last week. stressed up and lack of rest thats all. mum says its the o level results fever. am i right or is she right? it could be both. this week o level results. taking 3 days off, biting my nails, anticipating the upcoming news. the agony, the pure torture. my friend munsyi says that before you get your results, the school will show you the percentage of how many peeps pass each subject. if its a 100% pass on any subject, then you're safe. if not 100% pass, drops of water will be rolling from your forehead. or mine. so, good luck to you azizi, who's taking SPM aka o levels in malaysia and waiting with us too. to yasmin, maziana, adlin, helmi yada yada bla bla....hope all of you pass, plus me. rizman, what are you planning to give me? surprise surprise.
its amazing how foolish and stupid some singaporeans can be. asked me for the product nut its right in front of their faces. asked me whether which product is better. beats me. do i look like a promoter to you? stupid. discounts makes singaporeans become fools. when something a discounted, they expect EVERYTHING to be too. like the nyoya i've encountered last week. the discount is over so its back to original price. scanned the product, shows the original price. the nyonya flips saying the price is not right. so stupid she doesn't know discount over. told her no more discount and she changed her mind. end up not buying. feel like shouting "alamak ni nyonya!!!!!! pergi bukak kedai sendirilah asik nak discount!!!" my blood boils. i realised that being a cashier you have to be fickle minded. and lots of super duper patience. frankly speaking, thats not one of my virtues.
i hate my blog. planning to demolish it soon to another skin. beware peeps. construction going on soon. cheerio~
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she posted @ 12:34 AM ::
14.2.03
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she posted @ 12:38 AM ::
12.2.03
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she posted @ 9:16 PM ::
7.2.03
hey you with the wedding dress on..made of white chiffon
today i'll be working. going to be. at 2.30. and im still on the computer. still waiting for the clock to strike 1.15 then i'll be away from the computer..forever...ceh~. having a serious neck pain now. wrong pillow as in english. translate it yourself. huahaha. dekap down. nice. bringing my anger level to the maximum level. dekap down for 3 days already. nice. pthooey!
been at home for 4 days and i have discovered things..that i have already discovered and not.
1) the toilet nearest to the kitchen is still in bad condition as the flush is damaged.
2) how one's hesitation to make things happen is really testing my patience.
3) the weather made my eye bloodshot red and my nose running with mucus everyday. thank you.
4) im terribly bored and kaching-less.
5) no adventure or excitement happening to me so far.
theres a whole lot of list, but im too lazy to type. all i wanna do right now is to look at the clock. adios amigos.
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she posted @ 9:12 PM ::
6.2.03
i'd be, more than a woman, more than a woman, more than a woman
been slogging at home for almost 3 days now and im dead bored. my left eye is giving me problems eversince chinese new year. its so itchy, i feel like taking the left eyeball out and give it a good scratch. imagine the sound it would make when it is scratched. ooooo. my left eye has been like this eversince, i was a kid. its irritating. when i was in primary 3, i had a really bad left eye. i rubbed and rubbed my eye until it became bloodshot red. mom went berserk at brought me to the doctor. guess what happened? the doctor placed an eye patch on my left eye, and i was left being a pirate for the rest of the month or so. Arrr, ay maties, arrr. now im wearing specs not because im short sighted. my left eye is so damaged that it needs specs. my right eye is stronger. just my luck.
the due date for the o level results is getting nearer and you could almost hear my heart beats faster each day. the anticipation is killing me. what's with the slow process?! give us the results already! singaporeans can be so slow! huahaha. i could almost imagine the look on my friends when the would receive their results, just like taking our past n level results. the sweaty faces, the im-gonna-vomit faces, all of them. must bring camera to take their pictures. hauahha. if only they remember my name..that is..
look at me. i look pathetic. i have an itchy throat plus left eye. i have a bloated stomach because my menstruation is coming soon. i wear home clothes that was from my childhood years, amazingly it still fits me. im in need of a life. while people are happily enjoying themselves at school or outside im sitting at home doing the same routine, watch cartoons, eat, play with my neighbour's son, internet. internet are so boring sometimes, i could just burn the pc with a blazing fire. call me anything, but im bored.
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she posted @ 12:00 AM ::
4.2.03
is it just me or am i the one who did not notice it? sometimes your attitude changes so much, even you yourself dont realise it, until someone else close to you point it out to you. i really dont know whether i have changed for the better or for the worst. its all in the phase of life.
went bowling on last sunday and it was really entertaining. my first time bowling and i already had 3 strikes and my highest score was 101. of course i always came in second, my dad and mom beat me to it. dad was dull on the 1st set, but on the 2nd set he scored 104. mom was the 1st the 1st set and tied with me on the 3rd set. how come im always second? *thinking hard* anyway, im still a beginner. i wonder how does mom, who clamied to have never played bowling before, be so good at it?
let me give out the truth about myself. when i was still in secondary school i used to spit dirty words so much it has become a daily ritual for me at school. now, im so afraid to even say 1 dirty word. how ridiculous is that. i think my inner guilt is starting to grow. or otherwise im really scared. the end is near... can you feel it? i even dreamed of it. its terrible. brr.
work was fine i havent got my pay yet. learnt cashiering yesterday from kak zarina. was pressing buttons with trembling hands and a heavily migrained head. still trying to recall what she taught me yesterday.
life. you never know whats next. planning is a waste of time. waiting is a waste of time. today im off from work until friday. saturday and sunday afternoon shift. i dread the smell of medicine and the sight of sick people.
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she posted @ 1:41 AM ::
3.2.03
I've Got an Afro! Which of Jimmy Fallon's Hairstyles Do You Have?. Quiz by Caitlin
indeed i need a haircut! my hair is irritating me...
 Scary in a very good way, you're Fairuza Balk. Intense.
What sexy girl are you brought to you by Quizilla
love her in the movie the craft . i beg of thee...
Which flock do you follow?
this quiz was made by alanna
im a sheep in the big city !!
The Count's Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
It started with a simple affection for counting and
the terror it induced in others, didn't it?
But now it's turned into a full-blown life-
consuming chaotic nightmare of order,
repetition, zealousness, and perfectionism.
You used to be so grand, but now you find
yourself obsessively worrying over the littlest
things--like, maybe if you don't check the
light switch at least once every two minutes,
the electricity will go out (and damnit, you're
a vampire--that shouldn't be a problem!), or
maybe if you don't wash your hands until your
seams are coming out, you'll get some fatal
disease. Get yourself some treatment.
Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
hahaha...1 sheep. 2 sheep. 3 sheep.*thunder**lightning* hahahah...!
all these tests are courtesy from herda's blog!
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she posted @ 11:47 PM ::
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she posted @ 11:26 PM ::
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